I have this feeling of free fall,
I cry randomly sometimes,
It is like I am falling into this deep well,
And I without being aware of it,

Most of the times I am happy,
Without being conscious, and
Sometimes there is this realisation,
And deep despair with myself,

Sometimes I laugh at painfully difficult situations,
Situations for which I am sad too,
Or sometimes I would cry till I fall asleep,
Sometimes I would work out in the middle of the night,
To be able to sleep somehow,

And sometimes, I would need to be given a day,
To go back out there and smile,
It is weird losing myself each day,
Seeing a less ambitious less headstrong individual,

With infinite regrets with each one too big and,
With each one getting too far away from being sorted out,
Each mistake and regret,
Delays, difficulties, and fake laughs,

So much elaborate unconscious effort,
To just not be alone,
Alone with these thoughts, with yourself
Any which way if need to use the brain,
Be around people,

Alone I and the brain seems like a disastrous pair,
Difficult to traverse all alone,
With that curvilinear asymmetry without any references,
To the timelines leading into messed up transitions…