Yesterday, someone told me about their colleague from medical school. She died by suicide on their campus. He cited several reasons, and you could see the frustration of medical school seeping through his eyes. Any argument we made, he just wanted to justify and make peace with the fact that the pressure was so high that the kid chose to die instead of trying to continue living. And knowing him, his lifestyle, and work pressures, I could identify so many triggers, which might have led to her eventual suicide. 

But here is my argument not trying to be insensitive, but if it hurts, please don’t read ahead. 

It is not an alternative. 

Suicide is never an option. 

It never should be. 

I have earlier talked about it a lot, but there are two ways I see this life to be. 

In the spiritual sense, if you are given this chance to live life more purposefully, trying to give back to the world, to eventually find a way back to the universe, God, peace, and enlightenment. If you don’t, probably you will be stuck in this loop of life. Imagine you are given a chance with each life to better deal with the difficulties presented to you, dealing with your innermost insecurities. So before taking any extreme steps, think, is this solution the only way ahead? Ask for help, reach out to people, and maybe you will find another way. I am not saying you did not try earlier, but can you try again. Maybe, you will figure something out. Because if you choose to give up, forget about the pain you will cause to others. Just think about the pain caused to your soul, each iteration, each new random combination of your birth. And with each new variation, you end up torturing your soul into an entire iteration, leading to the eventual results of a meaningless existence. And then eternally staying stuck in this cycle of pain, life, death, and again birth. 

Where you are today, think of the person you have become. Is there not a single thing you are proud of yourself for doing? I can think of plenty already. Being able to sense the world is the first. Maybe you messed up your entire career, your entire life till now, but by committing suicide, you think you would be getting free from misery; instead, you would be entangling yourself in this mess. 

An alternative could be that you would cease to exist. We are made up of atoms and a perfectly beautiful set of arrangements, which led to the development of feelings and intelligence, which we call consciousness. If you choose to die, you fragment and go back, become a part of this universe, with you, your atoms forming your consciousness falling back into different pieces of this universe, taking with them, their bit of consciousness. 

What you did was, destroy a marvelous, rare combination of atoms, which was conscious, forcing it into nothingness. Imagine being handed a once in-universe lifetime chance for these atoms to collaborate and form you. And what you did with these atoms, who now form your consciousness, this sense of collective awareness is, you gave up. Can we not appreciate it instead, this awesome ourselves? Use this sense of being a human to create value for others. So that the hard work of these atoms and the effort of the universe are at least paid for. And you could make your creators proud. There is one in an infinite chance for these atoms, for you ever get this close to being this person you are now. So, would you want to give up on it now in the hope you are getting closer to peace? But possibly bits of consciousness would be spread across the universe, troubled with the way you left it unresolved, all of your pain, failure, misery. 

What if, instead, if you have got a chance, you help your conscious self grow and become more fulfilled and satisfied. So, when naturally, you cease to exist, you would have given it all of what you had. A fulfilled soul, whichever way you find it, helping others, creating some art, some value, making someone else’s life easier. Search for it, and then whether you live or die tomorrow, you would know, your soul would know, the scattered bits of your atomic consciousness would know, that it was for good. 

Everything messed up, everything wrong right now, is just a stepping stone for you to learn and deal with a problem of your life, fulfilling a purpose for your existence. And so what you generally would see as success would be people learning with their failures, smaller ones each day, getting trained to deal with some of the problems associated with their existence. 

And you are not alone, believe me, I have realized one thing, however harsh extreme it might be right now, time heals things. And people do too. So reach out for help, professional help, and talk with people. I am not suggesting it is invalid for you to think you should give up. I am saying it is the worst alternative to take up. Because by committing suicide, you would be giving up a quest of your consciousness over the existence of the entire universe, to live, collaborate, interact and find a purpose and peace. For this atomic fragment of yours to be happy once you die naturally, I would love for you to seek out challenges and conquer them. And remember, all other atomic consciousnesses of fulfilled souls, or people trying to move towards it, are always there. Resonate, find, and let them lead you through a time of unknown strangeness. And you will be fine. I hope you are.