Last year around 15 July, I was not anywhere near home,
Too far away and thus fully shielded from everything going wrong,
But sometimes during the next half-year,
I would randomly cry, with tears in my eyes, and
My head puzzled; why exactly did I start crying,

Fast forward to the day I came back, sometime around May,
And she walks with a slight stiffness in her leg,
And I joke, so Mumma now you are getting old haa,
And she smiles back, and a little while later,
I realize how she has been on bed rest ever since July,
Just after a few days I left, she fell and got a strain in her back,

I used to say to her every time, you live with people, with family,
You won’t ever understand how difficult it is to stay confined to one room,
In one country, with no knowns, and she would smile,
All this while, while herself being there in a room confined to the four walls,
Because of the back pain,

This guilt never goes away, for not being with her then,

But then covid came, I had to stay at home,
And then pandemic entered our house,
Mom was ill, and Papa was isolated,
We had people at home, my uncle, my brothers,
But this time, just a few times, I cooked food,
Applied some oil to the legs,

Covid fatigue was too difficult to let go,
But every day now, almost every day,
I have tears in my eyes, but somehow, it is not scary,
I know I am there, I am there this time for both of them,

It is so weird, earlier any headache or cold I would get,
My mom was the one to get all worried, and now,
Constantly I would monitor these two people, don’t eat that,
Now eat food, now this medicine, and now this,
But the point is I could do that,
I was here,
I was here with them,